Ellen Marais Counselling & Psychotherapy - Surrey based Counsellor & Psychotherapist

Hello and welcome to my site. I work as a Counsellor and Psychotherapist, currently based in Godalming (nr. Guildford, Surrey) and see clients for short or long-term therapy, integrating a combination of models at my counselling and psychotherapy practice.

Based in Caswall House in Godalming, (nr. Guildford, Surrey) I have been practicing as an Integrative Psychotherapist for over seven years. I work in a very intuitive way and help clients to access their own innate wisdom. Sessions typically include talking about and reflecting upon issues and processing painful areas. Sometimes EMDR is suggested; a successful technique that helps clear any negative thought patterns and past traumas (major or minor). Establishing a supportive and confidential therapeutic relationship is at the heart of my practice. In this kind of setting, clients can safely access places where they feel stuck or wounded, and can move forward in a positive and empowering way.

For clients wanting a more spiritual approach, the sessions may be used to look at dreams, or to practice creative visualisation techniques. Energetic tuning-in and clearing methods may also be helpful. I also work as an Angel Practitioner and offer separate Angel Therapies (Reiki, Indian Head Massage, Readings) to interested clients.

I am a member of BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) and work with adolescents, couples and adults with issues such as:

Stress, Low self-confidence, Self harm, Anger, Relationships, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Bereavement, Loss, Redundancy, Depression, and Addictions.

My counselling and psychotherapy practice is based in Godalming, Surrey, which is within easy reach of Guildford, Woking, and Haslemere. Godalming is located in Surrey County and is accessible from the surrounding counties of Hampshire and Sussex, as well as South West London. You are very welcome to contact me to discuss if counselling is right for you.

Below you can read a recently published article written by Ellen Marais, or if you would prefer, you can download a PDF here.

COUNSELLING & PSYCHOTHERAPY

One of my first clients was schizophrenic. I saw him for nearly two years. At the beginning, I felt nervous and slightly intimidated by his mental illness, yet I was also eager for the challenge. I was on my way towards completing a five-year MA Transpersonal Psychotherapy degree, with a tool-box full of therapeutic exercises on hand, and felt competent I could gather up the broken pieces of this man and help build him up, starting with his mind, or perhaps his heart, whichever demanded attention first.

What I didn't realise at the time was that the sooner I let go of my tool-box, the better. My client didn't need tools, he needed something else, and that was my ability to keep out of the way. Over the years as a practicing Psychotherapist, I have come to understand that the best thing I can offer people in distress is to be with them on their journeys; to listen, contain, and reflect their thoughts and experiences alongside them, rather than in front of them. If this is achieved, then there is a natural 'gathering' that happens, simply because the space has been given for it to happen, at the client's pace.

Given this knowledge of the therapeutic process, it is interesting that clients can often start therapy with the belief/hope that the therapist will lead the way to healing. This initial looking outside for guidance, advice and even salvation is part of a common tendency which seeks reassurance and love from an external source (genuine reassurance and love can and do occur in the counselling setting, however this grows as the relationship between the client and therapist grows). The realisation that there is no magical wand kind of cure that will instantly change them from pumpkins to perfection is typically the first pitfall to overcome. The second is accepting that it gets worse before it gets better.

The process of therapy is slow-going. Psychotherapy is not about feeling better - at least not at the beginning. Its very nature is to raise all those warts, bumps and bruises in order to face them. Similar to homeopathy, whereby one's dis-ease is treated by digesting the same poison but in minute form, psychotherapy works by raising whatever emotional/mental issue is of concern, feeling it in its 'diluted' form, and then strengthening one's system against it. How this is achieved through therapy is where the various models of counselling and psychotherapy come into play, as there can be many ways of facing and processing one's 'stuff.'

On that note, counselling usually involves less intensive therapy to deal with less intensive problems whereas psychotherapy is typically a longer-term commitment of self-discovery and internal processing. However, a continuum exists from short term counselling through to a deeper level of therapy, and as such there is no clear break between the two. And whatever method is used, it seems that at the heart of any healing process, one has to take responsibility to face one's issues. This is where the fun can begin though, because the process then becomes a means to build oneself up in a more positive, less toxic manner.

Although I now work as an Integrative Psychotherapist, which means I combine various healing techniques to suit individual needs, I chose to train primarily in the Transpersonal model (followed by Angel Therapy) because it holds the view that as we release our pain, we can move forward to healthier ways of being and recover qualities already existing in ourselves. The transpersonal view focuses upon the Essential Self, and encompasses all levels of human experience, including the spiritual. It believes in the true self behind one's anxieties and surface personality, and tremendous healing can take place when one touches upon one's unique gifts and inner strength.

Recently, I trained in EMDR, a treatment method which stands for 'Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing.' This technique helps clients to process any trauma(s) that has become stuck within their systems. The technique is more complex to describe in full but essentially the same homeopathic rule applies; it is a means by which to raise any distress to awareness, to clear the distress so that it no longer overwhelms ones' life, and works at installing a more positive view of self. Is it a tool? Most certainly. Yet it is a tool which is built into a larger treatment programme.

When I look back at the treatment programme with my schizophrenic client, I was given a crash course in how flexible and unique each therapeutic process needs to be. My client arrived at my door in a frozen, robotic kind of state. He spoke in a stilted, slow manner, but talked non-stop for the whole session, for two years running. Mostly the subject area was around his loneliness and social awkwardness, the energy of which penetrated our sessions to the extent where I wasn't quite sure where we stood with each other. Although I viewed him from a transpersonal perspective, we didn't explore transpersonal issues nor get to the stage of tackling his anxieties and inner distress. But this was a beginning, for both of us - a grounded beginning of relating, of developing trust, and a sense of walking along the same path together.

I had learned to listen, empathise and hold him in the self-protected place he was at. He had learned to speak more freely, know himself more, soften a little, and finally get to the stage where he felt ready to finish psychotherapy as a result of feeling secure enough in his mode of functioning.

What strikes me most about our time together was in our very last session, when we stood up and walked over to the door to say good-bye. At the exit, I felt something else needed to happen. A hug? No, a hug would be too invasive, I thought. But a nod or something similar seemed too cold. I suggested the idea of shaking hands as a way of saying good-bye, realising that this need probably came from me, as a way of connecting. However, he liked the idea and we shook hands, firmly and warmly. What came next completely took me by surprise because I almost said, 'It's nice to meet you.'

At the time, that unexpressed gesture seemed so unprofessional of me…had we only journeyed to the point of introductions? Had I only helped him that much? However, looking back now, I realise that after years of travelling at different paces alongside different clients, I feel honoured that he and I had grown to the point of greeting.

Written by Ellen Marais ©